Friday, September 9, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Before the throne...
****This post was written Feb. 5th****
This morning I was folding laundry and I came across my son's jeans that have holes worn in the knees. Those holes were created by just being a boy playing rough. All of a sudden, I was struck by the significance of those holes. Why are the knees in my jeans not worn through? They should be. I should have holes in all of my pants because I go before the throne so many times that they wear through.
Tears filled my eyes as I realized how much I fail God. I do not say this in condemnation. I do not feel condemnation for this action because I am saved by grace. I only feel sorrow for not seeking God that earnestly. I only feel like I could search for the heart of God so much more. I want to run to the throne and fall on my knees. He only is worthy of my praise. How many times to we run to Facebook or the phone when all we have to do is fall in the arms of grace? He loves us. He loves us no matter what the failure.
For years I was bound in the thought of an angry, unattached God. I was taught that being banished from the garden was a punishment. Yes, it was a consequence for human actions, but it was implemented in love from the Father. God loved us enough to spare us the shame of living in a perfect world with sin enveloping our hearts and minds. True, we cannot dwell with the Most High with sin, but He loved us enough to provide a place to go. He loved us enough to send His Son to die for our sins. Seriously, who among us on earth would allow our only child to die for a prideful heart, a liar, a gossip? I am all of those things and I can tell you that I would not offer my son for anyone else. He already had made a way for us to commune with Him again. He loves us that much.
Just think God was able for me to see all of that with just a simple pair of jeans. It is amazing what He can do.
Friday, February 4, 2011
All that I can be...
I have given in again this week. Today I am sitting here frustrated with myself because I feel unmotivated to get anything accomplished when in truth the one thing that needs to be accomplished I have not done. Have I gone to the Word today? Nope. I find myself getting frustrated with my children today. I find myself allowing the weather to dictate my mood. All I truly have to do is sit at the throne of grace. I can rest in Him. I can feel joy. I do not have to give in to the attitude that is just beneath the surface.
I was reminded yesterday of what my past looks like. I feel as though I gave myself more grace then. I felt stronger then. I was reminded of how very sick my son was for the first 2 years of his life. I did not even realize how much pain and loneliness I still harbored from that time until I was talking to a friend, who had a child in the hospital this past week. That time still haunts me sometimes. I thought I was stronger than that. Honestly, I do not have to be strong. God does it for me. See, I have all of the right words. I know the answers so why do I give in to the feelings? They are fleeting anyway.
I will go back to the throne. I will rest in Him. I will be all that I can be and He will pick up from there. Wanna join me at the throne?
I was reminded yesterday of what my past looks like. I feel as though I gave myself more grace then. I felt stronger then. I was reminded of how very sick my son was for the first 2 years of his life. I did not even realize how much pain and loneliness I still harbored from that time until I was talking to a friend, who had a child in the hospital this past week. That time still haunts me sometimes. I thought I was stronger than that. Honestly, I do not have to be strong. God does it for me. See, I have all of the right words. I know the answers so why do I give in to the feelings? They are fleeting anyway.
I will go back to the throne. I will rest in Him. I will be all that I can be and He will pick up from there. Wanna join me at the throne?
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Passions and Transparency...
How many times do we as people hide who we really are for fear that someone will not like us? How often are we truly transparent with our feelings? Do we lose our passions because we are so wrapped up in pleasing others? I believe more people do than realize.
I have lost myself in the past few years. Thoughts of am I a good enough wife, mom, Christian, daughter, sister are constantly swirling in my head. Do I serve enough? Should I do more? Is God happy with me? In the process I have served more, been angry more, depressed more, and although I have served I have lost some of my communion with God.
This is NOT what God has for our lives. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (paraphrased from Psalm 139:14) I do not have to serve and work for His love. I already have it and so do you. This year, 2011, I am determined to find me again. I am determined to gain my passions once again. God is the one who gave me those passions to begin with. A sweet, sweet friend helped me see that in the process of trying to be all I can be, I have served man and not God. She did not even realize what her words were doing to my heart. (I don't think she did anyway.) This year will be a new journey for me. I am going to take a step back and watch what God has for me. He know better than me anyway. Won't to join in the journey? I hope so. God bless my friends!
I have lost myself in the past few years. Thoughts of am I a good enough wife, mom, Christian, daughter, sister are constantly swirling in my head. Do I serve enough? Should I do more? Is God happy with me? In the process I have served more, been angry more, depressed more, and although I have served I have lost some of my communion with God.
This is NOT what God has for our lives. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (paraphrased from Psalm 139:14) I do not have to serve and work for His love. I already have it and so do you. This year, 2011, I am determined to find me again. I am determined to gain my passions once again. God is the one who gave me those passions to begin with. A sweet, sweet friend helped me see that in the process of trying to be all I can be, I have served man and not God. She did not even realize what her words were doing to my heart. (I don't think she did anyway.) This year will be a new journey for me. I am going to take a step back and watch what God has for me. He know better than me anyway. Won't to join in the journey? I hope so. God bless my friends!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Christmas Shopping in Jan.????
I fully admit that sometimes I am a little OCD, but this past year was YUCKY when it came to buying Christmas presents. Usually I am completely done by the first part of November and then I do not get stuck in the Christmas rush. I also can relax and enjoy the holidays. Anyway, this past year I did not start until the first week of December. Did you catch that? The OCD lady did not START until Dec. 1st. I was miserable and our wallet took a beating.
This year I decided would be different. There is a local department store, that will remain anonymous, that has a sale Martin Luther King weekend. I received coupons and anything that was not red line (meaning 75% off with an additional 40% off) I could potentially get another 20% off. I started in the red line section because who could beat those prices??? Long story short I purchased all Christmas and birthday presents for my family for the year, splurged and got myself 2 shirts and a sweater, got hubby a sweater, and purchased a 12 piece place setting of a good quality silverware for when we have extra guests all for......$237. I saved around $550.
Now the only thing I have left is Christmas and birthday for my children and my hubby. That may seem like a lot of money to spend to a lot of people, but I purchased some really nice gifts. Our families are not huge but when you add everyone up it is a lot over the course of a year. Now what can I next conquer???
Oh I also forgot that I found a brand new chandelier for my dining room at another store. It was on the clearance rack. I asked what was wrong with it and was told that there was nothing wrong with it. It just happened to be an item they did not have room to stock so they clearanced it. It was a $200 chandelier and I asked how low they would go on it and the man told me $100. I just so happened to have $100 of money I had received for Christmas so I BOUGHT it and I am soooo excited. I will post pics as soon as it is up.
Anyway all of this to say that I hope 2011 keeps shaping up with the savings that we have started with!
This year I decided would be different. There is a local department store, that will remain anonymous, that has a sale Martin Luther King weekend. I received coupons and anything that was not red line (meaning 75% off with an additional 40% off) I could potentially get another 20% off. I started in the red line section because who could beat those prices??? Long story short I purchased all Christmas and birthday presents for my family for the year, splurged and got myself 2 shirts and a sweater, got hubby a sweater, and purchased a 12 piece place setting of a good quality silverware for when we have extra guests all for......$237. I saved around $550.
Now the only thing I have left is Christmas and birthday for my children and my hubby. That may seem like a lot of money to spend to a lot of people, but I purchased some really nice gifts. Our families are not huge but when you add everyone up it is a lot over the course of a year. Now what can I next conquer???
Oh I also forgot that I found a brand new chandelier for my dining room at another store. It was on the clearance rack. I asked what was wrong with it and was told that there was nothing wrong with it. It just happened to be an item they did not have room to stock so they clearanced it. It was a $200 chandelier and I asked how low they would go on it and the man told me $100. I just so happened to have $100 of money I had received for Christmas so I BOUGHT it and I am soooo excited. I will post pics as soon as it is up.
Anyway all of this to say that I hope 2011 keeps shaping up with the savings that we have started with!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Book Review: An Amish Love
*****I received this book from a program for bloggers called Booksneeze through Thomas Nelson publishers. That is the only form of "payment" I have received.*****
An Amish Love by Beth Wiseman, Kathleen Fuller, and Kelly Long is a series of short novellas. There are 3 short novellas that can stand alone. It is a very short and easy read. I enjoyed the book as it took away from the Christmas rush and let me enjoy some down time.
The first novella is A Marriage of the Heart by Kelly Long. It centers around a young Amish girl who wants a way out of her life and a young man wanting to re-enter the Amish faith. They end up married due to lies on both of their parts and after time realize what true love is all about.
The second in the book is What the Heart Sees by Kathleen Fuller. Ellie Chupp has lost her eyesight and a dear friend to an accident. She holds onto secrets that damages friendships. Christopher Miller returns to his family still angry because of the accident and learns to find and give forgiveness, but do they find each other in the midst of it?
The final novella is The Healing Hearts by Beth Wiseman. This story begins with a man returning to his wife that he has left 11 months prior. Will he be able to reconcile with his wife and children? Is he hiding the truth? Does he really mean that he is sorry and that he will never run from home again? Read and find out.
An Amish Love by Beth Wiseman, Kathleen Fuller, and Kelly Long is a series of short novellas. There are 3 short novellas that can stand alone. It is a very short and easy read. I enjoyed the book as it took away from the Christmas rush and let me enjoy some down time.
The first novella is A Marriage of the Heart by Kelly Long. It centers around a young Amish girl who wants a way out of her life and a young man wanting to re-enter the Amish faith. They end up married due to lies on both of their parts and after time realize what true love is all about.
The second in the book is What the Heart Sees by Kathleen Fuller. Ellie Chupp has lost her eyesight and a dear friend to an accident. She holds onto secrets that damages friendships. Christopher Miller returns to his family still angry because of the accident and learns to find and give forgiveness, but do they find each other in the midst of it?
The final novella is The Healing Hearts by Beth Wiseman. This story begins with a man returning to his wife that he has left 11 months prior. Will he be able to reconcile with his wife and children? Is he hiding the truth? Does he really mean that he is sorry and that he will never run from home again? Read and find out.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Baseball and stuff:
Fall baseball just ended for us. Jordan's team ended the season 7 and 3. I was very impressed with some of the guys abilities on the field. It is amazing how you can see what child really wants it and what child is just there to be there. On Saturday to end the season, they had a parent/child game with pizza and cupcakes. The parent/child game was hilarious!!!!
On a completely different note, being a consultant for Thirty-One gifts has been more challenging than I thought, but it has worked out really well so far. I won a Bose Digital Sounding Dock today in the consultant electronic giveaway. WOO HOO!!!! If anyone is interested in purchasing Christmas presents or becoming a consultant to make extra money, let me know. You can go here to look at a catalog.
OK this has been the most boring post yet, but I always say I am doing this for me. :-)
On a completely different note, being a consultant for Thirty-One gifts has been more challenging than I thought, but it has worked out really well so far. I won a Bose Digital Sounding Dock today in the consultant electronic giveaway. WOO HOO!!!! If anyone is interested in purchasing Christmas presents or becoming a consultant to make extra money, let me know. You can go here to look at a catalog.
OK this has been the most boring post yet, but I always say I am doing this for me. :-)
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