Friday, February 11, 2011
Before the throne...
****This post was written Feb. 5th****
This morning I was folding laundry and I came across my son's jeans that have holes worn in the knees. Those holes were created by just being a boy playing rough. All of a sudden, I was struck by the significance of those holes. Why are the knees in my jeans not worn through? They should be. I should have holes in all of my pants because I go before the throne so many times that they wear through.
Tears filled my eyes as I realized how much I fail God. I do not say this in condemnation. I do not feel condemnation for this action because I am saved by grace. I only feel sorrow for not seeking God that earnestly. I only feel like I could search for the heart of God so much more. I want to run to the throne and fall on my knees. He only is worthy of my praise. How many times to we run to Facebook or the phone when all we have to do is fall in the arms of grace? He loves us. He loves us no matter what the failure.
For years I was bound in the thought of an angry, unattached God. I was taught that being banished from the garden was a punishment. Yes, it was a consequence for human actions, but it was implemented in love from the Father. God loved us enough to spare us the shame of living in a perfect world with sin enveloping our hearts and minds. True, we cannot dwell with the Most High with sin, but He loved us enough to provide a place to go. He loved us enough to send His Son to die for our sins. Seriously, who among us on earth would allow our only child to die for a prideful heart, a liar, a gossip? I am all of those things and I can tell you that I would not offer my son for anyone else. He already had made a way for us to commune with Him again. He loves us that much.
Just think God was able for me to see all of that with just a simple pair of jeans. It is amazing what He can do.